The People I See on My Travels - 4

Another airport, another person to marvel at.

The setting is DFW (Dallas Fort Worth Airport for you non-travelers). I'm scrambling through the airport searching for my flight. I get to my gate and I see the check-in desk, the ticket-taker person, chairs that people are sitting in, a big open area that people walk through in order to get to check-in desk and/or ticket-taker AND Mr. I-Really-Really-Want-People-To-Notice-Me (face has been blurred)

Please take a gander at this genius:

Where do I even begin?

Let's look at the facts with this guy. He was....

1. Completely sprawled out so everyone HAS to see him. Come on man! Yet again, do people not know the difference between public and private?
2. Wearing the shoes that make people have to stop and stare. Given, I have already sprayed about my hatred for said shoes. The more prevalent they become, the higher up the list they are getting towards Crocs and Uggs.
3. Talking ridiculously loud on cell phone. If you weren't staring at his shoes, his manner of sprawled-outness or his positioning on floor for sprawled-outness, his cackling on the horn was sure to get your attention. 

Best part, he was not even on my flight. He was just parked in a random spot. His gate was elsewhere. Amazing. Rethinking this one, I should have "accidentally" tripped and landed on him and just said "oh sorry man, I never thought someone would be sprawled out RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WALKWAY." Well, I guess I can live and learn:)