Wednesday, August 3, 2011

You are a Long Snapper if.....

I deal with Long Snappers. Lots and lots of Long Snappers. To say I know them well is the understatement of the year. In the past couple of weeks on Twitter, I have been spraying about certain “personality traits” I have noticed amongst my Long Snappers. One particular comment set the Long Snapping world into a tizzy. This wonderful, and true statement, was:
 
 “A true Long Snapper can’t do a head first slide, climb a fence and/or do a proper somersault.
 
Given, many o’Long Snapper has disagreed with me and said they, in fact, could do all three (please note: I have not seen one do all three AND have actually witnessed a top tier Long Snapper cut himself, on his belly, attempting to climb a fence).
 
Needless to say, I have been creating a list (couple have been put on Twitter) that I am certain will be continuously updated (feel free to add your own on this blog's comment section). Here you go. Enjoy:
 
You are a Long Snapper if...
·     you can’t grab a football without immediately placing your hands on it the way you snap
·     you have waited for a significant amount of time for an elevator instead of just taking the stairs
·     you have burned your mouth on pizza, yet continued to eat the pizza

·     you tend to over-think things
·     you have thrown up from eating too much.
·     you have ever searched and searched for a chair simply so you can sit down instead of standing while working
·     you have a ton of female friends (and usually end up with the hottest one as your lady friend)
·     you have blacked out from eating too much
·     you have spilled on your shirt and proceeded to lick it up rather than use a napkin
·     you are a phenomenal dancer

·     you are always tugging at your shirt to pull it away from your belly/chest (this one is a flat out epidemic amongst Long Snappers)
·     you are smart - if you weren’t, you’d be a kicker:)
·     you have tried to hide a “good ball” at a camp so no one else would use it.
·     you like ranch dressing….on everything.
·     you have tried to snap other objects besides a football (rocks, pine cones, children, etc)
·     you have the ability to power through a brain freeze to not waste a good Slurpee
·     you have entered a belly flop contest.
·     you can throw as good, if not better, spiral than your starting quarterback
·     you think you can punt

·     you tend to walk very slow
·     you have more knowledge about Long Snapping than your head coach and, odds are, so do your parents
·     you are superstitious

·     you have responded to a waitress with the word "Yes" when she asks what type of cheese you would like on your burger.
·     you have the air conditioning in your car always turned on
·     you immediately sit in a car and point the vents directly at you showing complete disregard for all other occupants.

·     you have never ordered anything less than a large...in anything.
·     you tend to scratch your stomach a lot (side note: a true, true Long Snapper has been know to let his scratching get carried away and has been seen with a finger in his belly button at times and, yes, they will always smell it)
·     you don’t realize how heavy you actually breathe and often tend to grunt
·     you have raged while watching a football game on TV because they didn't show the snap.
·     you have snapped a ball at a party
·     and last, but certainly not least, you have used being a Long Snapper as a pick up line with the ladies

0 comments:

Post a Comment